Barricade

Recently, I had the opportunity to be in a music video. It is called Barricade by Gentri. While I was watching it, I was taught a major life lesson. I already knew these things, but seeing myself as a bully in the video didn't make me feel good at all. The video is about knocking down the barricade that stands between you and other people. I watched the video and started to think "Is that who I actually am?" That definitely is not the person I want to be. It is important to allow people to come into our lives and let them change us for the better.

This year, going to a new school, I have met so many different people. I have tried to have an open mind and let everyone into my life. This has helped me to make so many friends. Each person has taught me an important lesson.

A few girls in particular have been so nice to me. Instead of being the mean girl that I was in the video, they welcomed me and accepted me as a friend. I am so glad that they did that, because it isn't easy to go to a new school and make friends. They were just who I needed to boost my confidence and let me know that it really isn't that hard to make friends.

This is a short post, but I feel like some people just need a quick reminder of what a huge problem bullying, judging, and criticizing people really is. Be the kind of person that people look up to and go to you for help. I invite you to look for people that you can help. I promise it isn't that hard. You could be the answer to their prayers.

I wrote this story and thought I'd share it. Please enjoy

I tried to sleep. But instead of sleep, a heavy sense of dread took over me. I started to doze off, but I don’t think I slept.

Even though it seemed like it, I know this wasn’t a dream. I don’t know what it was, but I am still very confused and frightened. For now, let’s call it a vision.

As I entered my vision, I looked around. I couldn’t see clearly. There was a heavy fog covering nearly everything. I could, however, see a couple of dead trees. This is not the kind of place that you’d like to be.

I stood in awe for a moment. Although this mysterious place was scary, it also had a weird beauty. Like an ugly place that is only considered art because of the photography of it. A shriek of a crow broke the silence. I looked for the bird that had brought me back to my conscious, but there was none.

I started to walk. I slowly made my way out of the fog. Now, I can actually see ten feet in front of me! As I walked, more and more dead plants caught my attention. It almost seemed like they were moving. Creating a path just for me. A small fraction of the plants still had a great amount of life in them. Some of them grabbed at my ankles, their thorns digging into my flesh. They cut deeper and deeper.

I looked down at my ankles, expecting to see warm blood dripping down. But instead, there was a thick, cold, black fluid running out of the gashes in my ankles.

I ran as fast as I could. I didn’t want any more plants to get me. I ran through trees, over little hills, and around big rocks. I ran until I thought my lungs would burst. I stopped, panting, trying to catch my breath.

I sat there, breathing heavily for some time. When my breathing was somewhat back to normal, I could hear a low, rolling sound. The noise would get louder until, at its very loudest, it boomed and crashed.

“Waves? Where am I?” I thought it might be a beach, so I got up to keep going.

I followed the sound of the waves right to a cliff. The edge was steep and the waves were big at the bottom. I looked down, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, trying to wake up. When I opened my eyes, I was still there.

“Why am I here?” I asked out loud. “And where is here?”

I looked out over the ocean and scanned my surroundings. I decide I might be on an island. I couldn't see any other land than the land I was one.

Behind me, there are dead plants and still a light fog. I turn and start to walk. Hopefully, I can find a way to get back home. I walk and walk, probably for a few hours. I pass some uninviting beaches. Broken glass and sharp rocks were mixed with the sand. A dirty foam is coming up and down with each wave of unclear water. There are pieces of broken wood and garbage hanging from them.

I keep my head down and walk. I keep the ocean in sight so I don’t get lost. I had to climb over some piles of big rocks a few times on the way. Then I recognized something. It was the cliff I had seen earlier.

“Jump.”

“Come swim with us!”

I heard voices. Looking around, I saw no one. I made no noise. I told myself that I was having an episode. I’m going crazy! Again, I heard the voices. Is it just the wind that is picking up? Or are there really voices coming from the bottom of the cliff where huge waves are crashing? I looked down the rocky ledge. A storm was coming, and the waves were getting bigger.

“Maybe,” I thought, “if I jump, I’ll wake up.” So, I took a deep breath, and I jumped.

I fell slowly towards the water. The closer I got, the more faintly I could hear familiar sounds. I heard laughing. As I was trying to figure out who the familiar laughs were coming from, I hit the water.

A wave immediately caught my body and sent me spinning. My hair covered my face and water stung my eyes and filled my lungs. The terrible aching in my chest was unbearable.

As I spun around in the water, being whipped around by the strong force of the waves, I  told myself to think of something happy. I gasped for breath as my head broke the water barrier and hit air. But almost immediately, I was pulled back under.

“Think of something happy! Think!”

But I couldn’t think. I just wanted to get out of this miserable place. I wanted to go back home and back to a normal life. I can’t deal with this anymore!

Just as I thought I might be going back home, I felt long, skinny finger slowly wrapping around my ankles. “No!” I froze. Suddenly, the hands tightened their grip and pulled me down with a sharp tug. I was being pulled down into the darkness of the ocean. As I went further down, I felt more hands grabbing my arms and legs. I tried to open my eyes to see what was going on. But the water stung my eyes.

The more I struggled to get away, the tighter I was held. I tried to stay calm, but how could anyone be calm in this situation? Then I realized I hadn’t taken a breath since I went under. “I just died and got dragged down to hell! Oh my gosh.” I screamed, but it was more like a gurgle. But I didn’t notice that I was still in the water. I could breath! “I am dead for sure.”

I tried to open I my eyes again. This time, The water didn’t burn my eyes. I looked around. All I saw was black. All the boney hands that had a hold of me had disappeared. I looked up and saw sun shining through the water. I pushed my hands through the water, trying to swim back to the top. It wasn’t enough, so I started kicking my legs. I only got up about a foot when I was stopped.

“Austin!” I heard someone yell. They sounded terrified. They needed help. I turned around to see a little girl crying. She wasn’t wet, it was like the water down here had no effect on anything.

“Who are you?” I asked, staying where I was. The little girl looked so familiar. But I couldn’t figure out why. Why would I recognize a nine year old girl at the bottom of the ocean?

“Don’t you recognize me?” The little girl stared at me. I looked at her and searched her eyes. They seemed to burn into my eyes. The little girl slowly drifted closer to me. Her eyes widened as her lips parted and she took a deep breath.

“Austin, be careful. Don’t do this. Bad things will happen.”

I continued to look at the little girl. She was about nine years old, how did she know about my intentions? Who was this girl?

She got closer to me and I noticed that her feet were in chains. Terrified, I looked back up to her face. The sun hit her just right, and I saw a girl I knew well. The girl was me.

Feeling more scared than I have felt in my life, I started frantically swimming. I swam as fast as I could. Not once did I look back. Finally, I got to the top of the water. My heart was pounding and my lungs were hurting. I took a deep breath and continued to breathe heavily. I looked around for a place to go. I couldn’t see the cliff that I had jumped off, but there were some big rocks coming up out of the water. I swam over to them and climbed up.

I breathed heavily as I searched the water, expecting to see myself again. I hoped that the chains I had seen were holding her down.

I just want to go home. No, I don’t want to go home. I’ve made bad choices. No one will be happy to see me back home. What have I gotten myself into? I can’t fix any of this. I can’t go back home. I just can’t.

Jimmy

I got home from my road trip to Vegas, Mexico, ans San Diego last night! I had so much fun and made so many great memories.

On the first day in mexico, we were on the beach relaxing. Sofia and I were on the beach getting our hair braided when a lady came and sat down to watch. She was obviously an american and drunk. She eventually started saying bad thing to us, so my mom asked her to leave. She emediately got upset and sat by my mom, telling her that they would be best friends.

"Who are you?" she asked my mom
"I'm their mom."
"Well, these are my kids now. Everybody line up!"

This lady was scary. She started reciting the pledge of alligience while we tried to call for help. Luckily, a nice man saw the commotion and called the police. Within a minute, there were about five police cars at the scene. The police took the lady away and we packed up to go back to our temporary home. My mom talked to the guy who called the police and he ended up being from america and he is a Mormon! He kindly reasured us that that kind of thing never happens in Mexico. And it really doesn't happen very often.

We stayed in a huge house divided into little apartments. A guy who worked there, renting out rooms, became our friend. His name is Jimmy. He only knows a few things in English, so it was a little hard to comunicate, but we became good friends. He mostly just said "Wow" and "What happennned?" One morning, He was out cleaning the fish pond. I went to watch and he told me to come in with him. I got in and we started chasing the fish, trying to catch them. He had a lot of fun "cleaning" the pond.

Then he made us the most amazing dinner ever! Everything was made out of scratch and it was all fresh. The two hours of preparation really paid off. While Jimmy made the food, he sang loud mexican songs and danced around the kitchen. It was really fun watching him since he wouldn't let me help.

Then there were the chickens. At the front of the house there was a well full of chickens. ?? I told Jimmy that I wanted to hold one, and he jumped in the well. He scooped up a chicken and handed it to me. I had only help it for a few seconds before he handed me another one. He stood down there handing me chickens for a few minutes befor he told me to get down there and get my own. So he got out and I got in. I sat down there picking up chickens for a good 30 minutes. One chicken bit my dress and swung around while tightly holding on to the end of my dress. Another one stared at me the whole time. But my favorite ran up my dress and sat on my shoulder. Every time I tried to put him down, he freaked out.

Jimmy came to the beach with us on the last day. One by one, he chased us into the ocean and splashed us unlit we were soaked. He started with Freestone, who wasn't in his suit. Jimmy called Freestone Cheppy. "Cheppy!! come!" he grabbed freestone and threw him into the ocean, then wrapped seaweed around him. Then they used the seaweed for a jumprope. Surprisingly, Jimmy was really good at jumprope. After playing with Freestone, he raced Victor into the ocean and jumped around. Then it was my turn. He splashed me so much, I was soaked in no time.

At dinner, Jimmy sang to almost every song that played in the resturant. It was pretty great.

Jimmy told us multiple times that we were a good family. He told us that we were good people. A few months ago, Jimmy's house burned down. He has huge skars on both his arms from the fire. When he told us the story, I was almost brought to tears. He is such a great person. He doesn't have much, but he gave us so much. I'm so glad I had the chance to meat him.

There are a lot of stories to tell, but I think I'll stick with these ones. I had so much fun on my road trip!

Little Did I Know

Little did I know that today would be different.

I didn't know that someone I had once met would be gone forever.

I didn't know that one of my friends would be hurt.

mentally, physically, and spiritually. 

Little did I know that I would be so affected.

I keep hoping for her to open her eyes and walk.

But she'll never talk, she'll never smile. 

All of that is gone. 

She spent her short life using it up as much as she could.

I just wish she could use it up more.

As I joyfully made myself an ice cream cone after dance, I noticed something off about Ruby. She was quiet and sitting alone. When my mom asked her what was wrong, she started to cry. Finally, she spit out the words, "Sofia Vasquez died." 

At first, I didn't know who that was. Then Ruby reminded me that her sister, Tilly, is my age. Tilly and I have been friends for a while. We don't talk much, but at that very moment, all I could think of was Tilly. How hurt she is. What she's going through. 

A few months ago, I lost a friend. It has been really hard to deal with. But loosing a sister is beyond comprehension. I can't even begin to know what Tilly is going through. All I can do for her is show my love and try to help her in any way possible. 

I know that this is all temporary. That one day, we'll see our families again. But on earth, for the people left behind, it's just agonizing pain. We have to deal with losses and not knowing the future. 

But in the end, it will all work out.

Introduction

Welcome to my blog! We'll start with an introduction of myself.

My mom says I'm very outgoing and enthusiastic. And it's true. I have a lot of energy. I like to use my energy to draw, dance, longboard, play cello, and write.

My mom says this in her blog, "This child is mercurial, fierce and passionate.  You'd have to be a comet to keep up with her moods, and you'd have to be a swami to possess the wisdom to raise her with absolute confidence." Yes, those things are true, and there are a lot of stories to prove it. just go to my mom's blog to see.  http://dopppartyofseven.blogspot.com/

My mom explains me so well, I thought I'd give a few more of her quotes about me.

"Araceli is always fun; sometimes too much fun for me.  She's exuberant, intense, loud, unapologetic and dramatic.  I'm thankful for all those qualities every day, because Araceli has depression.  She takes medication for it that enables her to be her true self, rather than be chained and fettered by the demons.  The difference between the Araceli who is trapped behind a wall of depression and the Araceli that thrives when there's enough seratonin in her system is terrifying.  Prisoner Araceli - without medication - has a palpable shroud of lead around her.  Nothing can penetrate the apathy and heavy emptiness.  You could take her to Disneyland and the reaction would be the same as if you took her to the city dump.  Nothing."

"Araceli had come to rely on Golda even more than the rest of us, as an example of everything she wants to be.  They're like twins.  It's a good thing Araceli has excellent examples in her older sisters, because she is a thrill seeker.  An experimenter.  A fearless leader.  She had admitted that her fearlessness has gotten her into trouble, but it has also been an adventure for everyone.  She said to me, "I've always been a teenager."  I protested.  She wasn't a teenager when she was a tiny, china-doll baby.  Or a darling, pixie-haired toddler.  Or when she was a pre-pubescent brace face.  And she's not even a teenager now, in some ways, with her adult looks and wise maturity.  In some ways, she is, though.  She lacks impulse control, and she's always overly emotional." Golda is my older sister.

"Admittedly, Araceli's way is more creative and passionate than everyone else's, and she's also organized, independent and responsible.  But even Araceli will cop to the fact that she sometimes leaps in with two feet before she knows what she's leaping into.  And she sheepishly admits that she is "probably too confident."  That sounds like one of those job interview questions, right?  "What is your greatest weakness?"  "I care too much about my job." Too much confidence can be a problem, although nothing Araceli can't fix with some ingenuity.  One area of overconfidence lately has been her grades.  They were so bad, Scott and I took her phone away and grounded her for life.  Then her grades went down. Down to the basement.  As in, "Don't worry about that F, Mom..."  Only when I started having daily discussions with Araceli about her grades and helping her email her teachers when she had questions, did her grades start improving. Araceli is such a creature of light that she doesn't respond to anything but love.  She was like that even as a baby.  She always got out of bed, time after time, and if anyone got mad at her for getting up, the battle was lost.  Only when she was completely reassured that we loved her and that we would continue to love her while she was asleep, would she give in. Of course, she also has her dark side, and the last thing you want to do is wake it up through anger and negativity, and let it start running the show.  You know, if kids didn't come with these full-grown personalities all built in, they would be a lot easier to manage.  I wouldn't want to lose one bit of Araceli's spirit, though.  She is exceptional, and we're just lucky and blessed that she's ours. "Stay tuned for the little and yes, even the big things that happen this summer!

Okay, okay. I know that's a bit of overload, but now you know me!

Stay tuned for the little, and yes, even the big things that happen this summer!